Mr. Football Endzone Painter / Mr. Football First Down Marker / Mr. Golf Quiet Sign Holder
Graphite Pencil / Radio / Radio Commercials / 2009
Mr Football Endzone PainterAnnouncer: Bud Light presents, real men of genius.Singer: Real men of genius!Announcer: Today, we salute you, Mr Football Endzone Painter. Singer: Mr Football Endzone Painter! Announcer: Armed with a brush and bucket, you create pieces that will last forever, or at least, until they cut the grass. Singer: Please don’t mow in this area! Announcer: Your art touches the heart, stimulates the mind, and taints the ground water in the entire tri-county area. Singer: This water tastes funny! Announcer: What do you get when you spray 480 metric tons of paint inside a dome? Diminished cognitive skills. Singer: What’s my name? Announcer: So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, oh Van Gogh of the Grid-iron. Because we know, you’ll always be up for painting the town. Singer: Mr Football Endzone Painter! MVO: Bud Light beer, Anheuser-Busch, St Louis, Missouri.Mr Football First Down MarkerAnnouncer: Bud Light presents, real men of genius.Singer: Real men of genius!Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr Football First Down Marker guy.Singer: Mr Football First Down Marker guy!Announcer: Like a centurion guard protecting the Roman Empire, you stand ready to measure. To mark. Or, when needed, to pat a tight end’s fanny.Singer: Can I touch you there?Announcer: You are blessed with poise, truthfulness and, most importantly, the ability to count to four.Singer: I know lots of numbers!Announcer: And how do you protect yourself from an out of control 300lb linebacker? A plastic yellow vest.Singer: It’s also reflective!Announcer: So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, oh, Guard of the Grid-iron. Because even no one measures up . . . to you.Singer: Mr Football First Down Marker guy.MVO: Bud Light beer, Anheuser-Busch, St Louis, Missouri.MR Golf Quiet Sign HolderAnnouncer: Bud Light presents, real men of genius.Singer: Real men of genius!Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr Golf Tournament Quiet Sign Holder Upper.Singer: Mr Golf Tournament Quiet Sign Holder Upper!Announcer: Boldly you patrol the line between order and anarchy, armed with only your wits, your resolve and your tiny cardboard sign stapled to a stick.Singer: Actually, I glued it on!Announcer: You protect professional golfers from what they fear most – idle chitchat 200 yards away. Singer: Stop breathing so loud now!Announcer: Because you know there’s one thing this spectator sport could really do without – spectators. Singer: Get them out!Announcer: So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, oh, Sultan of the Shush. We’ll keep singing your praises, as long as you keep telling us, to shut up. Singer: Mr Golf Tournament Quiet Sign Holder Upper!MVO: Bud Light beer, Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.
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